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In India, trees routinely shed their leaves in early summer, spring and autumn. Why do trees act like this in autumn and fall season? They shed their leaves as an active process that evolved to conserve resources and protect the tree from being blown over in the windier winter months. A protective mechanism that even the large and sturdier trees follow such as Maple and willow trees in Norway drop their leaves often in the middle of November. So what can be learnt from these trees? Shedding your leaves (however large and strong you are) is equally important to that of shedding your inhibitions and fears for us humans.
I remember the times etched in the photographic diary of a wimpy, shy and anxious kid that I was in Grade 6. As soon as I was put in the limelight and expected to respond, I would go deep into my hole and hide in the shadows of my big sister. An overwhelming and proud journey of conscious, practical and conscientious steps got me to overcome my fear and speak confidently in social situations. For some achievements in life, there is no planning. You simply have to face off your fears. You need to take that leap of faith by pulling yourself out a web of constant humiliation, complaints, comparison, and imaginative world.No abracadabra spell will get you out of low confidence; only you can!
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Understanding your confidence blueprint is the first step towards evolving out of your fears. We have multiple blueprints that get us going in life. Our blueprints are created to our life’s experiences, achievements, failures, people’s viewpoints, culture and upbringing, our choices and divine luck. Unfortunately, our confidence levels stem from faulty blueprints.
People often express and wallow in deep regrets. They are in this self-created vacuum of wishful thoughts viz. “I wish I had worked hard” or “I wish I would make time for myself” or “I wish I would get happier” and the list is endless… More than living life, people die everyday with these regrets. These regrets make one to keep taking extrinsic opinions to prove one’s self-worth. They stop you from feeling the right emotions, feelings and value each day of your life or your existence. They encroach your confidence deeply and passively. One needs to find larger purpose in life, at work and to the day. Appreciating little and joyful somethings will set you free and foster greater well being towards one self.
We fill our lives with fears of many layers and character. They are rational, required and surmountable whereas; some can weaken your knees and crumble your confidence as fast a cookie. Parents have fears towards their children’s well-being and coping journeys. But, an over-protective parent can stifle child’s confidence and freedom to explore and fail. Many of us have fear of speaking in public. One could palpitate, go cold, break into sweat, stammer or eat up words. These fears are absolutely normal and can be easily panned out. As long as they are healthy and rational, you will remain alert and activate a growth chart to regulate these fears. For every change management process cycle, one has to accept the negative and unpleasant factors to beat them into positives.
When I started my driving lessons, I would perpetually stress out in traffic bottleneck areas. To an extent, I let that fear cripple my motivation to pursue driving. I had blocked myself from every instance of driving my vehicle and accept my fears. To my dismay, I can narrate multiple such examples who create a protective shell and abstain themselves from exploring newer, exciting and challenging opportunities to develop their skills. Because, I focused more on negative outcomes, I skipped the plethora of opportunities that open up once one learns to drive and be self-reliant.
There are many who face similar fears with speaking in public, in social gatherings, in professional presentations and they stay away from participating in such forums or ideas. In recent years, I have not only learnt to drive, park my vehicle and be mobile in daily commute. So write down the golden rule in your blueprint – Whenever there is a public appearance, I will put my best foot and self forward and say ‘yes’ to fears! Take every chance to beat out your fears as it is extremely rewarding. Your problem is a hidden opportunity – a Jackpot of life that you are going to revere forever!
Saying ‘Yes’ to fears and fearful opportunities is the first step but 2nd step is to convert that fear into actions! It is the only antidote that will cure you from your self-created illness. Successful people have risen from the dead only because they were able to switch off their worrisome minds and switch on to new actions and opportunities. Actions are indeed louder than words! They are surely fear-killers! Procrastination, indecision, doubts fertilize fear and suck out your confidence.
Understand and isolate your fear, accept and start taking necessary and actions to counter your fears. If you want to shed those extra kilos packed during festivities, it is so important to get up from that cozy bed and get dressed to go for that run. If you feel the nerves to speak on stage, create an action plan to mitigate the enablers. As soon as you experience the joy of speaking confidently in any public platform, you will fell motivated enough to say yes for more such experiences. Perseverance is a virtue and Coach can unleash the true potential and value in you!
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Excellence is a long drawn bus journey and we need to board this bus! Simply by talking about fitness, goals, health, confidence, etc. we do not become that. We are a reflection of all those activities that we do and not of those we do once in the lifetime. Once a week of workout will never help you shed those kilos. One unplanned public appearance will not make you confident. One blog written does not make you a writer. Such goals need arduous plan of executed steps and not just planned steps.
Planning versus Execution and the gap that breeds in between has been researched and deliberated by many Motivational Gurus and they all sum up to only one notion that if we want something different and dynamic expectations from life, we need to take different and dynamic steps to achieve them.
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As we approach the end of 2019, the only awakening thought that I would like to share with all – Some fears are rational and they do not define who you are! What only defines you is the action that you take to shed these fears. Power does lie in you to choose wisely, consistently and consciously! And as you unleash this power to shed your deepest inhibitions and fears, you will truly maximize your potential and gain freedom from low confidence.Let us all inch towards greater, humble and more confident beginnings as we ring in New Year 2020!
Also read: Clean Homes, Clean Minds!