The Black Holes In Our Personality
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Imagine this – you are on a one-way trip. The duration of the trip is roughly 80 years. You can do anything and everything you want in this duration. What would you like to do during the journey?
This trip is called Life. It is the time between you are born and till the day you die. Everything and everyone come in the universe with an expiry date. It may end before the end date due to some unforeseen incidents like accidents, or even things that can affect the proper functioning required to live.
However such instances can not be anticipated and solved beforehand as you do not know what will happen, when it will happen and how it will happen, which adds an element of unknown. In space, there are these unknown things are known as black holes. They suck everything that comes in their way like planets, asteroids, comets and stars. Even light cannot escape from them. Imagine them to be giant and very powerful vacuum cleaners in the space.
Similarly, in our lives, there are some aspects and activities that eat us up and suck out our energies from all parts of our lives. Most of the time, they revolve around only one goal – our work or life. The eternal chase behind earning more money versus respecting one’s health takes one into the black hole of lack of better time management. Surely, one could agree that the trigger to this stage is from ‘‘I-don’t-have-time’’ reasoning.
#Top 3 ‘Black holes’ in our journey of Personality Development that we regularly experience:
- #Self-confidence: Self-confidence and the lack of it simply percolate in all aspects of your life. It hinders your ability to speak up and stand for yourself. Low self-confidence can stem from many reasons. The constant comparison in the students’ life with peers or siblings, lack of language skills, fear of being ridiculed, fear of large groups, and fear of making mistakes. If anyone is facing these fears, he gradually goes into his shell and shows many symptoms of loneliness, irritation, low energy and interest, disengagement, bully behavior, poor self image and other wallowing effects on his personality.
- #Self-worth: Self-worth plays a vicious and inter-connected cycle of low confidence and image. It starts affecting many areas of career, academics, performance and such potential aspects of your personality. Take an example of a homemaker’s life. She yearns to do something in her life. She wants it deeply to cultivate an identity for herself once again. But the traditional roles and the societal pressure do not allow her to do steer out of these invisible gates. The sheer absence of that deeper voice brings her self-worth below the line.
- #Attitude: Negative attitude is eating our Personality and we do not even know about the effects of it! Positive attitude will help us to not only live life but also thrive through it. Is it easier to focus on Positives? Certainly not; however, developing a positive attitude will make you remain happy and un-limit your true potential. The most successful people in this world are successful due to their Attitude towards their life and work. They are in far greater control of what they want, what they think and what they will become. Although we all have the same experiences of life, famous personalities have developed an optimistic and positive attitude to deal with life and transform their Personality
In the balance sheet of life, a Positive attitude-driven Personality sees more possibilities and assets. When things go wrong in life, they simply see the silver lining constantly and continually. The movie, A Dog’s Purpose shows off the mighty and positive spirit of the dog chasing her purpose.
Attitude is the most overlooked and understated black hole. As I have always believed, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of what how you respond to it. Response stems from that deep lying attitude of a person that could keep him positive, confident, happy, satisfied, motivated and grounded.
So, how do I train my mind and get rid of these black holes that come in the way of my personal development:
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- Identifying these kinds of ‘‘black holes’’ in our life is an important but lesser known aspect of living the life. It is important to make sure you observe them and don’t get eaten up by it.
- Prioritizing the different things in life according to their importance in your life can ensure that these ‘‘black holes’’ don’t pull you down.
- Sensitizing to the internal and external hurdles such as personality traits, mindset and attitude, peer pressure, environment, needs etc.
- Administering the Cause – Effect map will engage you in finding possible solutions to the Black hole problem. It will give you the reasons for change
- Executing the alternative solutions and testing the best solution that helps you to change.
Remember the key to unlock happiness and success is to work your way out of the ‘‘black hole’’ of your personality.
Addressing the need to come out of these black holes will transform your Personality and give you a newer purpose to live life. Life is a one-way trip. The time lost - in wallowing or complaining or simply defending your black holes – you can’t get it back. So, think about how you spend every year, every day and every hour of your remaining life.
- Look at your sole purpose that will bring you out of these black holes. Stop Complaining and start living!
- Smile and exuberate positivity around you. It can act as a natural mood booster and trigger good hormones in your brain and body.
- Bring colors in your Vocabulary. Replace all negative words with positive and powerful words towards yourself and others. Creative positive impressions with words.
- Dress yourself. Feel good about yourself. Visual image is a powerful tool to increase your confidence.
- Improve your communication. This will make you more tolerant, conscious and harmonious. You will start building more credibility in every part of your life.
- Be thankful and show gratitude towards relationships, time, nature, and more. Being content for today is a true present that you can gift yourself.
- Be in the moment: Mindful exercises will help you stay in the present moment. It will help you to carve out a mindset and focus.
- Change your Attitude. A positive attitude does not change the circumstances; it only gives you immense strength to cope up and keep up with problems.
Don’t listen to the definition of success given by others – define what is success for you. Train your mind and soul to come out of these black holes, see the light through your hands and transform your Personality for a better today and brighter future!
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The writer of the article is Personal Excellence Coach in one of the Top 10 rated Personality Development Institutes in India in 2019. For more such Personal excellence and transformational tips.
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Also read: The Power Of Gratitude
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